Compassion is hard

When I sit on my meditation cushion and (try to) meditate, one of the types of meditation I seem drawn to the most is 'metta' meditation. During this type of meditation, you work at cultivating feelings of loving kindness and friendliness to all beings, including yourself. In your mind, you say something like, 'may all beings be safe, healthy, happy and at ease." You say this to yourself as well, and then work outwards to people you know and like, eventually including people that you find difficult and may not like very much at all.

When I'm sitting there, doing that, I seem to have no problem saying these kind words to people I dislike or find difficult. I can even say that I genuinely mean it when I'm saying it, because I know that if those people were feeling safe, happy, healthy and at ease (i.e., not suffering) they probably wouldn't be so difficult. I truly feel compassionate towards them, because I know they must be angry, hurting, defensive and confused, just like I am when I am difficult and unlikeable.

That's while I'm 'on the cushion.' It seems I have some work to do when it comes to real life. The good part is I've at least recognized that fact!

Here's what I mean. This past weekend a letter to the editor was printed in one of the local papers. In a nutshell, the couple writing the letter are opposed to a Habitat for Humanity project being considered for a neighborhood near theirs because they feel their hard-working family doesn't deserve to live near people of lower incomes who would bring crime and disorder into their upper-middle class community. Here is a quote from the letter , just to give you its flavor:

Like it or not, the children of St. Albert are high-standard children and have no place for low-income classmates. When we first moved to St. Albert our teen had a hard time fitting in because of money and it was hard on him. Now he is good, but it did not go away with just a loving hug — his status was accomplished once his friends saw our house and other possessions. It sounds cruel but that is how it is; ask your children, they will tell you.

The bigotry in the letter is quite astounding really, and it has generated a LOT of controversy, to the point that it was mentioned on the national news. If you read the comments that follow the letter, you'll see that most of them decry this couple's opinions, and some do so in very harsh terms. And I must say that my reaction was pretty much in line with theirs: my first instinct was a feeling of disgust and then many disparaging thoughts. I wanted to write a comment too, voicing these feelings and thoughts, and condemning the couple for their shallowness, snobishness and ignorance. Fortunately, in order to submit a comment I had to take the time to register on the newspaper's website first, and while deciding whether or not I wanted to do that, my urge to comment faded. Which was a good thing. I ended up donating to Habitat for Humanity instead, in the name of the couple in question. Nevertheless, I still took a lot of pleasure in other peoples' comments and their call for a boycott of the couple's business. Truth be told, I'm still taking pleasure in it, and I need to let that go.

Today I will do some metta meditation for this couple, to help me let go of it. Because it is true that if this couple could feel more safe, more healthy, more happy and more at ease, I'm sure they would soften at least a little towards the H4H development project. I will do some metta for myself as well, so I can extend to them more compassion and less judgement. And that will be good practice for the next time my old habit of judgment and derision jumps to the forefront.

Have any of you had a tough time being compassionate lately?

Getting tough on crime? Whose?

The Canadian government is in the midst of trying to pass new legislation that would 'get tough on crime.' This has been in the works for some time now, but an election and then proroguing of parliament slowed things down. The heat is back on to get this thing passed now, particularly after a recent spate of gang-related violence in Vancouver and Calgary. The Act calls for things like mandatory minimum sentences and overall longer sentences for a number of offenses.

I could go on and on (and on) about why such things typically don't have a deterrent effect in the two categories of people who make up the bulk of the prison population (i.e., antisocial, impulsive types who don't consider consequences before acting, and gang members who consider doing time the price of doing business as well as a good way to get more recruits), but I won't. (Even though I have done research in the area and have worked in the field for the past 13+ years.) Instead I'd like to focus on a much bigger picture: the hypocrisy of the whole proposition.

In my view, the crux of the matter is this: why would anyone come over to the 'good side' of society when the so-called 'good side' consists of governments that cover up the crimes of their own members, and who let people like Bernie Madoff get away with billions of dollars in fraud? When society at large endorses psychopathic tendencies, including the unfettered pursuit of individual goals regardless of the consequences. When doctors who try to bring attention to the effects of the tarsands on the population of a small town are harassed by the government's health department. When 11 million litres PER DAY of toxic leakage from tarsands tailings ponds is considered within acceptable parameters. When the person in charge of ensuring a nuclear reactor is safe is fired when she says the place isn't safe anymore. When big pharma can muzzle research that is contrary to their business interests. When the ocean contains massive zones of plastic detritus that kills birds and deforms turtles. When we keep on over-consuming and sending our garbage to China for peasants to pick through. When we tell other countries to deal with the consequences of decades of OUR actions, while we do NOTHING.

We have lost the moral ground on which to stand and point fingers at the B&E artists, the con-men/women, the robbers, the fraudsters, even the murderers and rapists. They are us. We are them. There is no fundamental difference.

Because of our insatiable desires for more, always more, Western society has become a place not of fulfillment, but of a harried and crushing emptiness. We need a re-making of society, from the ground up. Just like we demand of the criminals in jail, we the non-jailed must be accountable for all of our actions, take responsibility for all of their consequences, and start acting to repair the harm we have caused to everyone and everything.

This starts here. Now. We must walk the walk, not just talk the talk. We must lead by example, not just point fingers at "criminals" and say, "what you've done is worse than what what I would ever do." No. Enough.

If we want others to be kind, then we must be kind. If we want others to be truthful then we must be truthful. If we want others to value fairness, justice, and peace, we must live our lives like we value these things too.

We can not legislate our way to a better society. This must instead start with each and every one of us, right now, in what we think, say and do every minute of every day.

Let's get started.

"Guerrilla" Smiling ?

A few days ago Gord and I were talking about how much just smiling at someone can really make a big difference to the smiler and the smile-ee. It's amazing how the simple act of smiling can change everything in an instant. Smiling and mouthing "sorry!" when you accidentally cut someone off in traffic can diffuse an potentially ugly road-rage situation. Smiling and waving at your neighbor increases 'community' sentiment, even if you don't say a word. When we were talking about this, I thought about the phrase "guerrilla gardening" - the practice where people go ahead and plant flowers and edible plants on vacant lots, boulevards, or wherever a bit of dirt is available. (Cluttercut has blogged about this recently.) It occurred to me that we could all be practicing "guerrilla smiling" as well!

Lately I've been waving and smiling at oncoming drivers on the country roads I take on my way into work every morning. When we first moved here, almost everyone waved at everyone else this way, but it has sort of dropped off over the past couple of years, as more people moved into the new acreages that were being built. I've decided to start doing it again, because it's nice and I like it.

So, this morning I just raised my two fingers in a peace-sign looking greeting and the lady in the car coming towards me broke into a big grin! I have no idea who she is, but I know that both she and I felt better in that moment than we did the moment before! I did the same thing to the guy who drove by me in a pickup truck, and he didn't smile or wave back, but he did a bit of a double take as he was maybe thinking, "hey, did you just wave at me?" I'm not sure if he was happier after I waved or not, but he was surely more curious!

Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh really sums this up nicely when he says,

If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work. "

Smiling for peace - that's something we all can do!

Picture courtesy this flickr site. Nose-touching not required in guerrilla smiling!

Peace and Frustration: Life has some of each....

I've been waffling lately what to write about next. On the one hand, I had a great time at our Taoist Tai Chi workshop this past weekend, and came away from that feeling very energized yet peaceful. On the other hand, I am really ticked off at Prime Minister Stephen Harper again, due to his threats to fire the head of the Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission (CNSC) after she spoke out against starting up the Chalk River nuclear reactor before it had upgraded its safety features. But then I remembered what I've been reading in my latest Pema Chodron book, which is that life is a dynamic mixture of everything all the time, and I could write about both in the same post.

So, let's start with the Tai Chi workshop. Apart from doing a lot of practice on our tai chi forms, this workshop also included information from our instructor on the roots of Taoist Tai Chi and its founder, Moy Lin Shin. Our instructor was a student of Mr. Moy and gave us some background on him and the health issues he struggled with his entire life. As a child, Mr. Moy's mother brought him to the temple of the the "three traditions" - a temple that was rooted in a combination of the three traditions of Buddhism, Taoism and Confucianism. The instructor went on to say that this would be akin to a church in western society today that combined the teachings of, for example, Judaism, Protestantism and Catholicism. We all chuckled a bit at the prospect of such a church, and how unlikely such a place would be.

This idea has stuck with me ever since: can you imagine a world where a place of worship like that would be the norm? Imagine if all the religions decided to look at what they had in common instead of what makes them different. Imagine if the leaders of all faiths and churches decided that since they all only worship one God/Tao/Creator/Allah, it must be the same one, with different names. Imagine the peace!

And during the workshop we got to taste a little bit of what that kind of peace is like, as fifty people of all ages, races and backgrounds did our tai chi together, prepared and ate meals together, and learned from one another.

So now: how do I hold on to this peace even a little bit while hearing on the news yesterday about the Harper government's threat to fire Linda Keen, president of the CNSC. It is difficult. I don't seem to be able to do it. How can I have any confidence in the government of this country when Harper's minister of natural resources, Gary Lunn, is poised to fire the person who did the job she was supposed to do: make sure that the nuclear facility at Chalk River didn't get reopened until the proper safety standards were met. The government overturned her decision however, letting the facility start up again generating medical isotopes. I've got nothing against medical isotopes, but surely there had to be some kind of back up plan to generate the isotopes elsewhere when this particular nuclear facility needed maintenance and upgrading!

I'm no expert but surely it's important for nuclear reactors to be upgraded now and then? You know, to make sure they aren't leaking or anything? And maybe a regular schedule of upgrading and maintenance should be put in place, say like you would do for your car, bicycle, furnace or computer? It's a nuclear reactor after all. Maybe something other than a cavalier attitude would be appropriate, given the potential for environmental catastrophe? And the one person who speaks out about this, whose job it is to speak out about this and take safety concerns seriously, is the person they threaten to fire? By what definition can such action be considered responsible government? By what definition is this any kind of government? If a person's job is threatened because they question the government, what kind of democracy are we living in?

There is a good chance that a federal election will be called this year in Canada. When that time comes, I urge all Canadians to question candidates about their position on nuclear power and other environmental issues. Use your right to free speech while you still have it. Speak out for peace.

Picture of Guan Yin, bodhisattva of compassion, courtesy the International Taoist Tai Chi Association.

Mindfulness Bell

After writing yesterday's post on peace and mindfulness, I came across this nifty free website which provides a computer-generated mindfulness bell. You can set the bell to occur at preset or random times, and you can choose between two different sounding bells.

I've been trying this at work today, as we rush to get everything done in time before leaving for our Christmas break. I've set the bell to ring about every half hour or so, with a random one thrown in for good measure. When the bell rings I stop what I am doing, breathe, and just listen to the bell. It has made for a relatively peaceful morning, despite the raucous ruckus around here....

Picture courtesy this flickr site

Peaceful Focus

I've been feeling kind of scattered and unfocused these last few weeks. There are lots of things going on leading up to Christmas, and while Gord and I have largely opted out of the consumerism part of western tradition for this holiday, there has still been a lot to do and seemingly not enough time to do it. Work has also been very busy and more stressful than usual.

A respite for me over these last few weeks has come in the form of a beautiful little book I bought not long ago by the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. The book is called "Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life." (You can read an excerpt of this lovely book here.)

The basic premise of the book is that there can be no such thing as world peace until there is personal, individual peace. And that personal peace is accessible to everyone all the time, through the practice of mindful awareness:

Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and everything we do and see. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We don't have to travel far to enjoy the blue sky. We don't have to leave our city or even our neighborhood to enjoy the eyes of a beautiful child. Even the air we breathe can be a source of joy.

The rest of the book goes on to describe how a person can achieve mindfulness in daily life, whether we are breathing, driving, working, or dealing with unpleasantness. The interconnectedness of all things is described, and a discussion undertaken about how, if we are going to dislodge the roots of war, we need to live in harmony with all things, to "inter-be."

We need harmony, we need peace. Peace is based on respect for life, the spirit of reverence for life. Not only do we have to respect the lives of human beings, we have to respect the lives of animals, vegetables and minerals. Rocks can be alive. A rock can be destroyed. The Earth also. The destruction of our health by pollution of air and water is linked to the destruction of the minerals. The way we farm, the way we deal with our garbage, all these things are related to each other.

Throughout the book Thich Nhat Hanh describes the simple things we can each do, everyday, to work towards a more peaceful state. Things like sitting still and paying attention to our breathing, or totally concentrating on whatever we are eating at the moment, or stopping when we hear the sound of a church bell or even the honking of a car horn and really listening to it.

So when things get hectic, and stressful, and I'm worried if this world can ever get its act together, this little book has reminded me that I can experience peace right now, and contribute to world peace a little bit each day. That gives me a measure of comfort in this season that is that is supposed to be all about peace and good will.

Free Burma: Bloggers Day of Protest for Burma

Folk Fest Philosophy I

Four days of listening to fantastic folk, blues and world beat music has come and gone for another year!

The Edmonton Folk Music Festival is something that Gord and I have come to love and look forward to all year long. The music is fantastic, and the atmosphere nearly utopian. This is our third year attending the festival, and each time I am more and more impressed with the general goodness that pervades the event. People are kind and polite. They wait patiently in line and no one butts in. There is hardly any litter on the ground - you would hardly know that 85 000 people made use of the festival site over 4 days. I have only heard one person swear in the three years we have been going, and that was a performer who seemed to get the hint not to do it again when there was utter silence after his having done so.

I could go on and on about the recycling, the reusable plate program, the composting, the solar powered cash registers, the hemp baby clothes, but I what I really want to write about are three lines from three songs from three separate performers we heard this weekend. These three lines were simple but profound and I scribbled them down on a paper bag when I heard them, so I wouldn't forget. I wanted to write a little bit about each of those lyrics, over the next week or so. Today's profound lyric is this:

Everywhere we go, people like pie and ice cream.

This is a line from a song by Bill Bourne, called Pie and Ice Cream. Bill's partner in music this weekend, Aysha Wills, gave some background information about the song before they sang it. Essentially, Bill Bourne's theory is that since, everyone likes pie and ice cream, there should be a world wide program of trading guns for pies. Yes, guns for pies. Soldiers would be offered the pie of their choice in exchange for their weapon of choice. Pretty soon, everyone would be having a nice snack, sans ammunition. Of course this is ridiculous, right? It couldn't really work.

But when you think about it, war is about food. Abstracting a bit more, war is about securing resources and maintaining access to them. If everyone had enough food and water, would there be any reason to go to war? If everyone had what they need -- not what they want, but what they need-- I bet almost every war could be avoided. It is as simple as making sure everyone on the planet has enough food to eat and water to drink, and as complicated as redefining what "need" really is.

The Tao Te Ching has some interesting things to say about this:

Chapter 12

The five colors make one blind in the eyes
The five sounds make one deaf in the ears
The five flavors make one tasteless in the mouth

Racing and hunting make one wild in the heart
Goods that are difficult to acquire make one cause damage

Therefore the sages care for the stomach and not the eyes
That is why they discard the other and take this

Tao Te Ching as translated by Derek Lin

Overstimulation of the senses overwhelms a person (or a society) to the point where they are numb and can't appreciate anything but a continual influx of yet more 'extreme' experiences. Under these conditions, we think we 'need' all sorts of things, all the time. But sometimes these things can become "difficult to acquire" because we need so much and so many so often, to the point where we have to take it away from others. Then, the acquisitiveness "make[s] one cause damage." Damage = War.

The wise person, or society, will choose contenting stomach over the eyes every time. This I take both literally and figuratively. It is much more important not to go hungry than it is to have an 52" flat panel TV. Radically speaking, it is more important that everyone has enough to eat before anyone has a 52" flat panel TV. I'm not advocating that everyone sell all of their possessions and donate the proceeds to charity -- although that would be an amazing thing to do! I'm saying that individually and collectively, we have to get better at defining what we really need, and we have to acknowledge that everyone in the world has a right to have their basic needs met too.

And the soldier put his gun down, for pie and ice cream