Sunday, 29 April 2007


Gord was away for almost three weeks and now he is back. I am very grateful and happy upon his return. This morning we had a cool conversation about all the things we wish we could do to help make the world a better place and what we can do to make our lives more simple and meaningful. I am so thankful that I have a man like this to share my life with!

Today is my parents' 41st anniversary. I thank them for the great example they set for all of us growing up, about how integrated and connected two people can be in a marriage that not only works, but flourishes!

I'm going to call them right now to wish them a happy anniversary!

Friday, 27 April 2007


While thinking about that whole concept I got so carried away I didn't even think to finish my lunch! This is quite profound to me, since just yesterday I was blogging about how my food consumption is all-consuming, and here today I found something to think about that got me not thinking about food consumption at all! This bears more contemplation.....

Attachment and Detachment

I posted this just a minute ago on the Tea House website. It is part of a thread I started there talking about a conversation I had with a co-worker. She was of the opinion that Taoism and eastern religions/philosophies in general tended to encourage 'distancing' oneself from certain bothersome matters, even if it meant distancing oneself from loved ones, and even turning down one's emotions for that person. It felt wrong to me but I couldn't respond to her very well. So I started a thread there to ask others what they thought about this misconception. We pondered it together for a while, and then I posted the following after reading a bit at this website.

So I had a thought just now - let me see if I can put it into words.

Maybe the/a reason why people may see Taoism and other eastern philosophies/religions as detaching and distancing from things and people is because they don't go on to see the next step of the process.

For instance, when I step back and look at the 'big picture' about something, or look up into the sky and see stars and feel connected to stars, planets and the cosmos, that is just the first step. In this step I feel the 'bigness' of that feeling, the communion with nature from its cosmic vastness to its atomic minutiae. This takes me out of the petty matters of the day and into a somewhat removed perspective.

But the next step (for me) is the feeling that if I am connected with all things and all things are connected with me, then I am not removed from them - I am of the same "stuff" as they are, and we are are all in this together. From this I get a sense of compassion that is acute, yet all encompassing at the same time. I am simultaneously attached and detached with everyone and everything. So I treat things and beings well, because in doing so I am treating myself well. It is an immediate, direct connection. It is a feeling so benevolent that I am compelled to compassionate action. It is an epiphany to me....

Hmm. That's a lot more words than I thought I would write about that.

Thursday, 26 April 2007


I've been thinking about this for a while. Lately my lifestyle has begun to incorporate less consumption of things: less electricity, fewer unncessary purchases, trying to generate less carbon emissions, less (virtually no) meat.

But I've not been able to consume less overall food. I eat way too many carrots, way too much popcorn, and way too much iced tea powder. Not to mention large portions of my meals and assorted bits of chocolate and the odd bowl of ice cream if Gord offers it to me. I'm trying to be this small footprint, anti-consumerism type person, and my whole mantra of moderation just leaves me altogether when it comes to my snacking/eating habits.

It seems like because I'm eating more vegetables now, I think I can just stuff myself with veggies and that my carrot/popcorn/iced tea powder snacks are my "entitlement" because of this.

I read about moderation in the Tao Te Ching and it all sounds good and feels right, and then it's like another brain takes over and I go to the fridge and get something to eat and scarf it down. I need to be more mindful about my eating. Instead I seem to go into a trance or something just before I make a decision about what to eat and then I'm oblivious to everything else when I'm chewing. I don't like that.

I lost about 22 lbs after I was sick with gastroenteritis about two years ago, and I really wanted to keep that weight off. I managed to keep it off for a year or so. I was exercising on the stationery bike fairly regularly then. But then I started eating more and more when my appetite came back fully after about three or four months, and it seemed like I wasn't putting on any weight. I ate more; I excercised less. Now I weigh ten more pounds than I did before I was sick. I am so tired of worrying about how much I weigh. It is a burden to me to think about it all the time. But I know that things don't change unless you change how you do things, so it is up to me to act differently. Sometimes I wish I'd just get sick again, for a couple weeks. This is irrational, but I wish for it anyway.

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

On the way home from Tai Chi

While driving home this evening I had one of those neat moments that comes along once in a while, and I actually had the wherewithal to pay attention to it this time. I had the latest U2 cd in, and the song "Origin of Species" was playing. At the same time there was a beautiful Spring sunset happening and I was seeing this and singing at the top of my lungs along with Bono. Add this to the nice warm glow my muscles have after a good session of Tai Chi, and it just doesn't get any better than that!

Why am I doing this?

I've been going through a lot of changes of perspective lately, and wanted to get some of these things written down before they get away from me. I have already lost some of how I think I arrived at the worldview I'm at now, and I wanted to keep better track of how things go from here. Plus, I will probably try to "back blog" (thanks to my sister for that term!) some of my memories about how I got here.

We'll see how it goes....

The Beginning....

Tao Te Ching

Lao Tzu as translated by Derek Lin

Chapter 1

The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao
The name that can be named is not the eternal name
The nameless is the origin of Heaven and Earth
The named is the mother of myriad things
Thus, constantly without desire, one observes its essence
Constantly with desire, one observes its manifestations
These two emerge together but differ in name
The unity is said to be the mystery
Mystery of mysteries, the door to all wonders